Dude, this is pretty f---ed up right here

OK, so I used to think Fair Trade coffee was just some hippy-dippy thing that might actually coincidentally help some farmers while making people feel better about getting ripped off for a daily cup of coffee.

But say you're a small family coffee farm and want to sell your coffee to Fair Trade for that princely $1.26 a pound -- sorry, you have to join a co-op first. And if you've done so well that you've hired somebody year-round to help out? Bzzzt. You can't deal with Fair Trade at all.

No word yet on whether the co-ops are required to meet production quotas spelled out in Five-Year Plans. But there is plenty of bureacracy. More here.